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THE DARK MOON CHALLENGE for the WITCH’S NEW YEAR
October 25, 2022
Theme: Prepare the Soil—It’s Planting Day
Ancient people saw magic
everywhere. There’s plenty of evidence
to suggest that they shared an animistic
world view, the belief that everything
In earlier times, the natural cycles of growth and decay were the most notable features of life. In modern neopaganism, we reclaim this world view. Our ‘Wheel of the Year” marks times to plant, nurture, harvest, and rest. If we look at farming as a metaphor for the new moon ‘seed-planting’ of intentions, then the health of the soil symbolizes the medium for holding and nourishing your seeds. Integrity is important to the health of the soil,
Please don’t misunderstand me. This is not about becoming a goodie-two-shoes or a better rule follower. Integrity goes much, much deeper than living up to some external standard of ‘goodness.’ Use the following visualization and questionnaire to get ready. Your seed planting instructions are at the end,
Energy Exercise 1
Sit or lie in any position you choose, but make sure your spine is straight. Relax as much as you possible can.
Now, imagine that you can reach down into the center of the earth and pull up the energy from the molten core. Imagine bringing it all the way up to your tailbone. Let it flow up through your spine all the way to the crown of your head. Now send it out into the universe, and allow the celestial energy of the universe to flow back down into you from your crown, through your spine, all the way to the center of the earth.
Cycle the energies from earth and sky as you continue to relax. Experience yourself as part of the energy flow between heaven and earth.
Turn back the clock. Remember what it was like to be a child. See if a specific experience comes to mind. If not, create an imaginary scene that represents your childhood relationship with ‘being in trouble.’
Get as real and as sensory as you can. See if you can remember sounds, smells, sights, sensations of touch or taste. You probably didn’t have the word ‘integrity’ in your vocabulary. That’s okay. Use the feelings you have about it now as a lens for looking back.
BTW, on a personal note, I’m noticing that my childhood relationship with integrity was quite unhealthy, so don’t be afraid to get real with this.
Don’t worry about getting the answers exactly ‘right.’ Work with what you get. If you can’t fill in every question right off the bat, sit with the blanks and see what comes to you later.
1. When I read or hear the word ‘integrity’ If feel
d. Something Else, namely, __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2. Some of us got away with a lot as kids, and others were strictly raised and closely supervised. Do you think you have an overactive conscience, did your upbringing make you too cavalier, or did you get lucky and land in the Goldilocks spot where it’s ‘just right?”______
3. It has been said that integrity is how you behave when no one is watching, and you know you won’t get caught. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your integrity? ________________
4. Do you wrestle with intense feelings of shame, regret, or blame? (We’ll work with this tomorrow)
5. I was taught that you can’t get to transformation without going through integrity. It’s the gateway to joy and the foundation of a life well lived. What’s your response to this assertion?
Sound is vibration, and language is sound. “In the beginning was the Word…and the Word was God.” Keeping your word and being the kind of person whose promises you can take to the bank, these are the hallmarks of integrity.
Seed Planting Instructions
- Have you chosen your intention(s) from the brainstorming list in the prep questionnaire? If not, take a few minutes to choose one, two, or three ‘seeds’ from your aims for the 2023 harvest.
- Timing ~ The moon is considered new for 24 hours before and 24 hours after it reaches 0 degrees illumination. This means that you can plant them anytime today. We’re not fundamentalists. As long as you do your ‘seed planting’ before the end of the day on Tuesday, you’re golden.
- This can be imaginary, or you can symbolize it with real seeds and soil if you want.
- In your mind’s eye or in real life, dig down into some dark, rich, soil and plant as many seeds as you want. They represent the harvest you want to bring to fruition in the coming year. You can spend as much or as little time on this as you like.
- When you feel complete about planting your seeds, relax and let go. There may be action steps you need to take. Do so in an easy-going style, and forget about manifesting your intention as much as possible.
- You have transferred your desire into the seeds and soil. Don’t keep digging up your seeds to see if they’ve sprouted. Let nature do her work.
Here’s a good article about tapping into the power of the eclipse. If you want to follow these instructions instead or in addition, please feel free. This piece makes an especially valuable point about using astrology to take responsibility for your life.
THE DARK MOON CHALLENGE for the WITCH’S NEW YEAR
Congratulations on signing up for the Challenge! I’m so excited to have you on board!
I want you to get as much as you can out of this. As you know, what you get out of anything is in direct proportion to what you put into it. There are five parts to this document. 1) This intro 2) Energy Exercise P1 3) New Moon seed sowing explanation 4) Prep questionnaire 5) Optional short reading about the value of practice and preparation.
Take an imaginary journey with me through time and space. We can do this right now if you have a few minutes. If not, go ahead and read through the exercise, figure out when you can give it your full attention, and put it on your calendar.
Energy Exercise P1
Travel with me to a different time and place, where everyone knew that everything was alive, and that life began in
Let go of your focus on the here and now. Repeat the rhyme and engage your imagination. Let the words weave their magical spell around you like cartoon smoke, and whoosh you away from the mundane world you know into a time when Celtic clan chieftains and Druids ruled the British Isles.
I release and let go
In sweet surrender to the flow.
Moving through time
Moving through space
With a magical rhyme
To a mystical place
Picture you and your clan living in harmony with nature, camping out all summer. Danu, the Earth Mother, has been radiating energy and producing vegetation all summer, but now she gathers her life force back unto herself.
‘Liminal’, or in-between times, are golden. At summer’s end, or ‘Samhain’ in Gaelic, the Celts believed the old year dissolved to make way for the new. This ‘thinning of the veils’ gives you a powerful and amazing opportunity for a new beginning.
It’s the season of spirits, and modern Halloween celebrations prove that we still feel its spooky energy.
Tune into this vibration now. Spirit is the fifth dimension. See if you can feel a little something extra in the air at this time of year. As the forces of growth and expansion turn inward, another kind of energy seems to take their place. It’s almost like a low hum, too soft to be heard, but you can sense it.
Are you having memories of those who have crossed over? Can you feel them reaching out for you? Are you feeling your love and longing for them?
In nature we sense death and emptiness where there was form before. Can you sense the coalescing vibrations of future potentialities forming around the vacuum left by the dying vegetation? These sensations can be subtle, but once they touch you, you will begin to notice them more and more every year.
Feel free to journal about the exercise and/or repeat it as many times as you like.
Sow Seeds by the Dark of the Moon
Both of my grandfathers were farmers—good Christians who rejected anything to do with Witchcraft or magic. But there was one old tradition they honored, “Always plant by the dark of the moon.”
In October of 2022 the moon is new just six days prior to Halloween.This gives us an ideal opportunity to plant our own seeds of intention this new moon. What do you want to harvest in 2023?
You can plant seeds for anything, but don’t choose some worn our objective you think you should be running after. What makes your heart sing? Imagine yourself a year from now.You have had an incredible harvest, and you’re over the moon about what you’ve grown. What sparkles for you, lights you up? Magic is most powerful when tied to your emotions.
Your intentions can be specific, like, ‘An extra $3,000 a month in the bank before the end of 2023’ or general, like, ‘Harmonious and joyful time with friends and family.’
Brainstorm now. Plant your seeds on the dark moon. You can check the internet for the exact time in your area, but generally speaking, you can do your seed-planting any time on the 25th or 26th of October. It’s theoretically possible to plant seeds for as many things as you want, but in order to keep track or your results, I recommend between one and three.
Complete the following statements as honestly as you can.
1. I signed up for this challenge because _________I wanted to succeed at something and prove to myself that I could get people get people to participate.
2. I hope to ______________________________________________________________________
3. When I think of having a metaphorical harvest in the coming year, I picture _______________
4. What I want most to change in my life is__ ____________________________________________
5. I’m thinking of sowing seeds of intention for (Brainstorming, list as many as you can think of right now)_________
You will choose one, two, or three of these ‘seeds’ to plant on the new moon.
A Story About Preparation—well, about practicing, actually, but the principle applies.
Johnny and the Piccolo
Paraphrased from a story I heard as a child
Johnny was a little boy who wanted to play the piccolo in a marching band. His mother bought him an instrument and signed him up for lessons, but he never went. She told him he would need to practice, but he refused.
“Listen to that bird, Mother,” he said. “She sings a beautiful song, and never wastes her time with boring old practicing.”
The day came for Johnny to audition for the marching band. He had never taken his piccolo out of its case. It was lucky that he had a friend who played the flute.so somebody could show him how to put it together. Johnny put his piccolo to his lips, but couldn’t even make a sound. His friend taught him how to blow across the mouthpiece.
When Johnny went into the band room to try out, he thought of the bird’s song, and imagined nature’s own music flowing through him and his instrument. He blew into his piccolo, and sure enough, the sound that came out was closer to the tweeting of a bird than any song composed by a human,
“That’s a good trick,” said the band teacher. “Now, can you play this?” He handed Johnny a very simple piccolo part.
“I can’t read music,” said Johnny.
“I’m sorry, Johnny,” the teacher told him. “We have no need for a bird in the band. We only need students who can read and play music.”
The moral of the story? If you’re a wild creature, you don’t have to practice. But if you’re a human and you want to play in the band, you have to prepare. Some things are intuitive, and others are skills that take practice. Magic and music require both.
Are YOU BRAVE Enough for the Witch’s Dark Moon New Year’s Challenge?
October 25-29, 2022
What is it?
A free, transformational opportunity based on five ‘E-Z-peasy-U-Can-Do’ sessions that will offer you the opportunity to:
- Rocket yourself into the fifth dimension of present moment consciousness. 🚀
- Experience magical living ⚡️
- Get a jump start on the holiday season as you honor the old Celtic New Year☘️
- Forgive yourself and others. Start November with a clean slate ✌️
- Lay the solid foundation for an unimaginable future. 💎
How does it work?
Each day starting Tuesday, October 25, 2022 and continuing through Saturday the 29th, you will receive a questionnaire with instructions for completing it and complementary energy exercises designed to facilitate a visceral experience of the area under discussion.
You will carve out a few minutes each day to complete the questionnaire and work on the exercises.
Ends with a live communication session through Zoom, FaceBook, or Discord.
Why should you do the Challenge?
1. It’s FREE.
2. You risk nothing but time, probably five to ten hours total. (Of course you can put in as much time as you want).
2. It only lasts 5 days—days that will come and go in a flash whether you do something life-changing with them or not.
3. The questionnaires are designed to allow you to quickly look deeply within.
4. It’s flub-proof! I promise. You can’t mess this up.
5. This will give us a chance to get to know each other better.
How do I sign up?
Leave me a comment or message me. (If you send a message, and if I don’t already know you by name, please mention The Samhain Challenge, I usually ghost DMs from people I don’t know).
Leave me a comment or message me. (If you send a message, and if I don’t already know you by name, please mention The Samhain Challenge, I usually ghost DMs from people I don’t know).
feels like being a fetus whose amniotic fluid is thick gravy. I can move, but barely.
“God, why am I so tired?” My friends and I say.
“The world is vibrating at a higher frequency,” they tell us. “Our bodies are catching up.”
And I believe them, partly because that’s exactly what it feels like.
An Apologist for Woo
I happily accept the explanation. In my circles, we’ve been talking about the unfolding new paradigm since the 70s. Since then, I have become an unapologetic apologist for woo. I like it because it is what it purports to be, woo—subject to vagaries, misunderstanding, disagreement, and misapplication. You never have to deconstruct your woo. You just move on to the next thing that calls you.
It delivers, if you know how to work it. Bliss, spiritual enlightenment, and communities of people committed to living in alignment with their higher values. Even among such stellar compatriots the normal human frailties arise. All we can do is to have compassion for them, and be as respectful of each other as we can without sickening sweetness. Of course, my taste for sweetness between people has changed over the years. I’m so grateful for those in my life who have shown me how delicious humans can be with each other, and how I have always longed for that flavor.
People of every culture must have moments of merely putting on the show. We in the West were blown away when we discovered what ‘namaste’ meant on a spiritual level. I have been told they throw it around like they’re saying ‘hi’ in India. There’s ‘aloha,’ too. In this case, though, the Hawaiians have done well to communicate what it means. To greet you or to tell you goodbye is to say I love you.The point is, these populations hold a shared value as the starting point for their social practice. That value is connection,
Now, I don’t really want to believe in woo. I, who am fond of saying, “I don’t believe in believing.” But I chose it. Maybe you don’t choose your gender or your sexual orientation, but I got to choose this world view, and I continue repeat that choice over and over. It seems woefully naive and unsophisticated of me. I would really like to be more scholarly. My ego wants to hold court and discuss philosophies, theologies, and all sorts of grand theories–and to do so on a sound academic basis. But alas, I choose joy, and woo is where I find it.
Atheists, Woo, and Those on a Continuum from Agnostic to Woo
I live a happier life in a community dedicated to joy than in one dedicated to ideology. The people I hang out with fall into the categories delineated in the section title above. We are not people of the book, unless it’s a songbook. How much about the forces that created our universe are we capable of understanding with our advanced primate brains? You see, once you open your mind to the possibility that everything you see is a trick done with smoke and mirrors, it’s game over. You’ve won.
Start looking at the world through the eyes of woo, and what wonders you will see. There even comes a time when there are no more coincidences in your life. I like living this way. So I buy into the narrative that this elevation to the new frequency is sapping my energy. Because my energy is surely sapped.
But here I am, happily ensconced on my couch-throne where I live my life. Where I’m going to make a video, and I don’t even care if you see what a mess I am. I’m writing my truth, thus fulfilling my life’s purpose. And I don’t even care that I was too tired to do anything I needed to do today.
It is well with my soul. Maybe I’m like that weird little fetus floating amongst the planets at the end of the movie, 2001, A Space Odyssey–a brand new possibility in the universe? What if you’re that, too? Maybe we could even work together towards building a world culture whose shared value would be ‘connection.’
My grandparents on both sides were farmers. I grew up hearing the old tried-and-true advice that my Christian forebears swore by–for a good harvest, plant by the dark of the moon.
When I became a Witch, my HPS Neta taught me to meditate and not to do magic on the dark of the moon. Then my Feri oath mother held a large, public dark moon ritual in honor of her mentor who had crossed over, and did a seed-planting ceremony. Later, another friend introduced me to the practices of cleaning your personal altar and working with chthonic deities at that time.
I find it timely on this dark moon to post some excerpts from my book, WITCHCRAFT, POWER, AND TRANSFORMATION, A MAGICAL MYSTERY SCHOOL FOR THE 21ST CENTURY. Working with the courses of nature is central to our Craft. But I want to start with the first paragraph from Chapter One where I explain why my book teaches you how to design your own spells instead of giving you spell recipes.
WHAT IS WITCHCRAFT?
The Craft training in this book compares to the instruction you would get in order to become a master chef. If this were a culinary institute instead of a magical mystery school, and you came to study with me, I wouldn’t hand you a cookbook and tell you to follow recipes. I would teach you the basics of food preparation so that you could fully develop your cooking talents.”
Spells you create are always more powerful than the ones you imitate based on something you read. My book contains everything you need to know in order to start creating effective spells and much, much more. The end of this blog will give you an overview of the topics covered.
Now, for this dark moon, here are some words from my chapter on lunar esbats:
“The Farmer’s Almanac says to plant by the dark of the moon. Green Witches (those who work with plants) also follow this advice. Imitative magic tells us that a good time to plant seeds is also a good time to plant metaphorical seeds, in other words, to do a spell for something new…
For our purposes, we might define manifestation as nudging the direction of an ongoing issue, whereas “seed planting” magic means bringing something new into your life.
Here are some examples: If you’ve been married to the same person for years but feel you need a little magical boost in your relationship, you would probably get better results by waiting until the moon is new—visible and waxing, unless it’s an emergency, in which case you could use the clock hands as described earlier.
However, if you’re single and you’ve met someone new, a spell for increasing love in your life would be the equivalent of planting a seed. Notice the wording of the intention, “increasing love in your life.” Don’t do “love spells” to manifest a relationship with a specific person. Infatuation can distort judgement, and violating the free will of another person has dire consequences. Leave the details to the Goddess.
Say you’ve been struggling with a health-related problem and want to add some oomph to your healing. This is an ongoing issue, not something new, so the dark moon would not be the best time. On the other hand, suppose you’ve just received a frightening diagnosis about yourself or a loved one. You could plant seeds for health and well-being, or you could cast a spell for banishing disease, at the dark of the moon.
Chthonic, or underworld, magic also works well at this time. Dark gods and goddesses, spirits of the dead, and many races of beings dwell there. Working with the netherworld offers a source of power not accessible elsewhere, but I recommend developing some magical skills first.
When you do underworld magic you open a portal between this plane and the realms of twilight and darkness. Some beings who want to cross this threshold may not be benevolent. In addition to strong shielding and protection, you need to be able to cast and seal a solid circle so unwanted entities can’t get through. When in doubt simply clean your altar and meditate when the moon is dark. It’s always a good use of your time, and you can’t go wrong.”
You can find the book by clicking the ‘Books’ tab on my website and click on the image, or copy/paste the long link below. (NOTE: Free Preview button isn’t working at the moment. Sorry. Some issues with Amazon.)
Please feel free to comment or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any questions or anything else you want to communicate to me, and blessed be the new moon.
Here are some of the many topics covered in the book:
- What is Witchcraft?
- Pagan History
- Foundations of Magic (What types are there? What makes them work?)
- The 5 Elements
- Flowing with the Tides of Time
- The Wheel of the Year and Witches’ Sabbats
- The Esbats and Phases of the Moon
- Allies and Helpers (From Animal, Vegetable, and Mineral Kingdoms. Familiars, Stones, Herbs, and assorted practical stuff)
- You Are Your Magic (How to design a spell)
- The Charge of the Goddess
- How to Take a Spiritual Bath
- History of the Tarot
- Sample Sigils
- How to Create your Own Liturgy
Tables:1–Elemental Correspondences, 2 & 3 Basic Tarot Meanings, 4–Cleansing Methods, 5–Full Moon Names, 6–Magical Timing by Lunar Phases, 7–Magical Timing by Days of the Week, 8–Eight Herbs and their Uses, 9–Thirteen Stones and their Traditional Uses and Correlations, 10–Elder Futhark Runes and Possible Meanings, 11–Color Correspondence.
#Wicca #Witchcraft #Moon Magick #Magic #Magic Spells
Tarot cards not only advise about the past, the present, and possible future outcomes, they also convey valuable life lessons. The major arcana, read in order, tell a story called “The Fool’s Journey,” the path from pre-birth to psychological and spiritual self-actualization. If I had to choose a single ‘magical’ item, it would be a tarot deck. I think you could learn to lead a satisfying life by studying the meanings of the cards.
Before studying Witchcraft, the idea of a Mother Goddess intrigued me, as did the possibility of reclaiming the title “Witch.” However, divination and magic seemed superstitious and anti-intellectual. I was skeptical of things like astrology, tarot readings, and casting spells. I decided to take a fresh look at the practices associated with witchcraft after my first Goddess ritual, which was a shock to the system. I experienced a profound spiritual revival that left an indelible imprint on my life and expanded my curiosity about divination. Our predecessors survived and populated the planet because they were adept at gathering and using knowledge from their environment. Why settle for only five senses?
It no longer surprises me when the tarot cards get things right. It’s happened hundreds of times over the last twenty years. I found this one amusing. See what you think:
A work friend wanted a reading; it was her first. I turned over the card representing the near future, and there he was, The Devil. This card can mean addiction, unhealthy relationships, and troubled life, but none of those things matched with what I knew about my friend. The Devil can also mean temptation, or “sex, drugs, and rock and roll,” but that didn’t make sense either. Finally, she told me that she was planning a road trip to Vegas with her sister. Suddenly, it all fit.
Learning to look at life through the eyes of a Witch was similar to that reading in a way. Just as I couldn’t see how The Devil card might relate to my colleague’s life, I couldn’t understand why magic or divination made sense. But, once I learned more about them and tried them on for size, they were a good fit after all.
By Janus Blume
© June 1, 2021
We stare into the depths, you and I, because we will not be bought off, will not sell our souls for surface things, like identity–that part which feels torn, shredded by self-imposed separation from the whole. Yet not entirely self-imposed. The notion of sin, separation, and the loss of the garden is handed down from parent to child and embedded in Western culture. But even so, something in your heart is singing, “Union, peace, and joy exist.” Let’s quiet our minds and listen.
Other words may bubble up, and that’s okay. If they do, let them slip through your mind like sand through a sieve. Feelings may also barge in. They will not be denied, and why should they? They were earned through life experiences, so we honor them, though not their well-practiced narratives. Let us have no more patience for silent internal works of fiction.
“Fiction?” You may hear your mind counter. “It’s complete non-fiction. It happened to me. It’s real.”
And it would be right. We all suffer from slings and arrows of the past. Yet if you look at the thought-loop you associate with any perceived emotional trauma, you will find a great deal of judgement and recrimination folded in with history. Researchers who study human memory tell us that our recollections change over time, that we remember our most recent memories, not the event itself. In other words, your recall distorts the past like a funhouse mirror.
The Limits of the Mind
People tend to think they can figure life out and protect themselves from harm. This approach seems to be part of human design, but the underlying principle is incorrect. Life simply has too many variables. No matter how hard we think or how carefully we plan, things still go wrong.
It’s very strange that an inappropriate response to life’s challenges appears to be hardwired into our behavior. We could speculate on how this came to be. Maybe it helps if we understand that evolution only requires a certain percentage of us to live long enough to produce offspring who also reach adulthood and procreate. Although it’s probably accurate, this conclusion is too pedantic for me to accept as the complete explanation.
We live in a culture rooted in the illusion of loss and separation as expressed through the story of Eden. It’s painful, yet the narrative of being driven from paradise rings true. It’s as if we’ve inherited an ancient grief. Perhaps at some point in human development we went through a separation from our place in the order of things. Our eldest human ancestors transitioned to Homo sapiens to become the dominant species here. Did they lose something, or trade it away—something we long to reclaim?
The beauty of life abounds on planet Earth. Monarch butterflies hang from eucalyptus trees like so many dead leaves until the sunlight dries the dew from their wings. Then they burst into flight, hundreds at a time. Lines of pelicans traverse the shoreline, flying low enough to easily make a meal of the fish in the shallows. Behind the birds we see the splendor of cherry pink, orange, and dark mauve in the sunset. You would think we would be able to let go of our worries and concerns long enough to vibe with it, to let it in and rejoice at our good fortune to be part of such exquisite artistry. Sometimes we can. Maybe there’s a way to bask in that light more often.
It has been reported that Jesus spoke of a ‘pearl of great price,’ a jewel of such value that a wise merchant would sell everything he owned to get his hands on it. What was he talking about? Since he spoke in parables and used metaphors for teaching, the pearl would represent a non-physical treasure. Let’s see if we can figure out what he might have meant.
We, the conquering animals at the top of the food chain, learned to plant, to harvest, to build homes and cities. We invented art, written language, poetry, and music. But there is more to us than that–another ‘something’ that can be named in various ways, but never completely captured in language. Maybe we gave it up when we uttered the first word, built the first shelter, or planted the first crop. Have we been inventing religions ever since then, to try to get it back?
Each of us defines it differently. Many people call themselves atheists, and remain certain that scientists will someday understand the very source of creation. Some put their faith in a superhuman being called God or Goddess. I’m a mystic. I know and cherish a relationship with a divine Oneness expressed through many images and stories, but belief seems overrated to me. That might put me in the category we label agnostic.
I value living in the question. Think about it. Our minds crave answers, but questions open doors, and answers close them. Definitions draw lines around things and restrict them. As long as I relate to the ultimate mystery without definition, anything is possible. I can touch eternity.
As Above, So Below; As Without, So Within
Scientists estimate the universe to be 13.7 billion years old. My predicted lifespan is less than 100 years. What business do I have even talking about eternity? I can only answer that question by telling you where I’ve found it. In present-moment consciousness. In the moment of now there is no need, sorrow, or death. I know about them through language, and they relate to the remembered past or the imagined future.
I relate to the universe as a living being, and the source of life as infinite possibility. I think it’s my birthright to experience the invisible mystery at the heart of existence, and the sacred stories of all cultures can help me do that. Life is truly fulfilling for me when I sit in silence, looking through the lens of nonmaterial reality.
Hush now. The voice in your head is drowning out the song of your heart. Quiet your mind and be fully present so you can hear it. You are part and parcel of the mysterious source of the universe. The iridescence of peace, joy, and union shine like subtle rainbow colors gleaming from the surface of a pearl. Shatter the illusion of separation, and know yourself truly. The shallows are fine for pelicans finding fish. Give me the depths of spirit where presence dwells. From there I can see forever, and it is well with my soul.
Diva Drop #1
March 8, 2021
Big news from Janus, your spiritual diva. I got my second vaccine!! As I write this, I have no idea how the second dose will affect me, but I know this: either it will be as easy as the first or not. If it’s not, I’ll get through it–none the worse for wear and knowing that in a couple of weeks I’ll be huggable again.
Soon we’ll be looking at the pandemic in the rear-view mirror. From the beauty of the present moment, life, though punctuated with sad news here and there, looks phenomenal. On a public level, it feels as if awareness continues to grow as current events cast spot lights on opposing points of view. I found out one friend is in the hospital, and we lost another unexpectedly due to a sudden heart attack. Someone said his death was linked to the COVID vax. His significant other says it wasn’t. Well, that’s today’s social climate, isn’t it? One person says something and another says the opposite. The beat goes on.
I’m learning to live with the sad fact that many of the people I love and admire believe in suppositions which seem absurd, even harmful, to me. Now is the time to practice radical acceptance. Human minds are susceptible to confirmation bias, and I’m no exception. I have to admit that I don’t know everything or have all the answers.
“But…but…” my mind screams.
Certain facts add up logically and make sense to me. So far, I see no credible evidence to the contrary. I trust my judgements and perceptions and live as I have lived for the last 50 plus years. As the line in the old Pagan song says, “My skin, my bones, my heretic heart are my authority.”
The arm where I got my injection just gave a twinge. Nothing else yet.
I’ve got big plans cooking in my head. Regular Diva Drops for sharing my life with you. A book and self-help course called “The Key of Life” emphasizing the double meaning of key as both the home-tone of a musical piece and the bit of hardware that opens a door. It’s all about harmonizing with life, floating downstream instead of fighting the current, and personal freedom through mindful living.
2021 is shaping up. My arm quit hurting. And scene.
Until next time,
The Twelve Steps of NiceAnon
I’m starting a new 12-step program. We don’t have enough of them. There’s one I need, and it isn’t on the list. Since Alcoholics Anonymous was founded in 1935, another thirty programs have been patterned after AA, with another eight more partially modeled after the original. They deal with everything from families of alcoholics and addicts to overeaters, hoarders, and sex addicts, to name but a few. But there’s not one for my addiction, so I’m creating a 12-step program for people who are too nice.
My name is Janus, and I’m a nice person. This is where you say, “Hi, Janus,” to make me feel welcome and keep me coming back. Because if I keep coming back it works, and being too nice has cost me everything. I’m sick of putting my needs on the back burner while I make sure you’re okay. I can’t take your love to the bank.
Here’s my story. Maybe there’ll be something in here you can relate to. Maybe you don’t need the 12-steps of NiceAnon, but if you do, thanks to me, we’re here to help. See? See how I took credit for founding the organization? That’s progress.
When I was a toddler at an Easter egg hunt I would stand back and let all the other kids find the eggs. Pushing ahead of the others just seemed rude and crude. Then my parents got mad at me for using the manners they were trying to teach me. LOL. I got all these mixed messages. I was just a mess.
I was an only child. At the time of my adoption there were no other babies in my parents’ social crowd. All the adults and big kids were quite taken with me. For the first couple of years everyone made sure I was happy, so I didn’t need to push back or to stand up for myself.
Until it was too late. By the time I was two, my mother began to rage at me for things I couldn’t understand, like getting chicken shit on my white baby shoes. Well, she was so proud of me for learning to walk in the first place, but look out where you take those precious baby steps! She was a giant then, towering over me. All I could do was look down at my body in red corduroy overalls with dirty white baby shoes sticking out of the legs. There was no defense against her disapproval. Shame became my fortress.
Without siblings to sharpen my claws on, I had no practice venue for exercising my fight-back reflex. Being a toddler, my only behavioral choices were tantrums and withdrawal, which I practiced alternatively with equal dissatisfaction. The fortress of shame became my home except when I ventured out to rage. Thank you for reading my story. I apologize if it was boring, but maybe it will help somebody else.
It’s been over seventy years since I was a toddler, so there’s no excuse now. I’m capable of stating my case firmly and clearly. And to hell with you if you don’t like it. So there. Oh, I’m sorry. You know I wouldn’t really damn you to hell, it’s just a turn of phrase to help me be more assertive. But There I go again apologizing too much. I’m sorr…whoa! You see my challenge?
These are the steps I am using to support my quest for not-being-too-nice:
One: I admit to being powerless over being too nice—that my life has become unmanageable.
I just can’t say no. Damn you Zoom! Even with the pandemic I have something on my calendar every day.
Two: I believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.
I do believe, I do believe, I do believe! Should I click my heels? Clap my hands?
Three: I Make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the unmanifest energy behind creation which cannot be understood by human intellect.
I hope my descriptions of deity aren’t offending anyone!
Four: I Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of my spineless niceness.
I started making a list of every time I said yes when I wanted to say no, but filled three composition books, and I was only up to age 27. There’s gotta be a better system.
Five: I Admit to a power greater than myself, to myself, and to another person the exact nature of my excessive people-pleasing and pandering.
Oh, the paradox when your crime is niceness.
Six: I Become entirely ready to have my higher power remove my wimpiness of character.
But only if it be thy will.
Seven: I Humbly ask Her/Him/It to remove my passive-aggressive tendencies and cowardice.
Should I take humbly out? Just asking. I’m so confused.
Eight: I Make a list of all persons I have harmed through being too nice, and become willing to speak my truth to them all.
But what if I think I’ve harmed them, but they don’t even remember? Would it be a form of harm to bring it up?
Nine: I Speak my truth directly to such people, except when to do so might end up getting me injured.
Ten: I Continue to take personal inventory and when I’m selling out to be liked, promptly admit it.
Kind of makes me glad Aunt Nettie has crossed over. Makes it easier to tell her that I hated wearing her outdated hand-me-downs to high school.
Eleven: I Seek through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with Source Consciousness, praying only for knowledge of the will of a power greater than myself and the strength to carry it out.
Twelve: Having a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, I carry this message to others who are too nice, and practice these principles in all my affairs.